What women DON’T want

22 Jun 2011 170 Comments

by creamandcoffee in Coffee Tags: #women

Coffee here! did you guys miss me? *brings out shotgun* yes? good *tucks gun away*

Today’s post was inspired by Toolman’s post here -> http://thetoolsman.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/what-men-dont-want/

The post was insightful as usual but the comments were CRAZY. I mean after I read like 50 I was ready to throw my T.V out of the window. I mean I understand everyone has standards but some people were just pushing it. I’ll just let you guys read the post/comments if you haven’t already.

Moving on, just like Toolsman, I picked 4 of my lovely followers and asked them to tell me what they DO NOT want in a man. Three of them are very opinionated and the fourth one is more reserved and I chose her for that reason so we can all see it from different point of views you know?

BUT before I post their comments, let me just say the want thing I know I don’t want….. BITCH NIGGA ATTITUDE.

Bitch Nigga Attitude *sighs* *walks up to chalk board and slaps ruler on the table*: Unfortunately the Bitch Nigga Attitude occurs during the relationship and shortly after it has ended. what do I mean by Bitch Nigga Attitude a.k.a B.A.N?  A guy that nags and complains about EVERYTHING you do. A guy that craves attention every single hour. I mean if you called me an hour ago telling me you ‘missed’ me, calling me back an hour to say the same shit is very ridiculous! I mean you are the guy! I should be the one acting like a clingy cat and if I have a problem with that then obviously something is wrong somewhere. B.A.N also occurs after the relationship is over… how? well you know the dudes that decide to slander you after you broke up with them? yeah. that’s a bitch nigga. shame. Alright I’m done.

Itunu (@MsItunu)

1) Pettiness: A man who fusses about the most mundane of things is an instant turn off. Why are you bothered about the colour of a babe’s nail polish or the fact that she wears Brazilian hair instead of Peruvian? Why do you even know the difference between Peruvian and brazilian hair to start with? If you’re constantly bitching about petty things and non issues I’m sorry mate we can’t happen.

2) Close minded/Unadventurous/Basic/Judgemental: you believe personal grooming is meant for women only? You think being a ‘real’ man means acting brash and overbearing? You’re unashamedly racist/tribalistic/sexist. Your idea of sex is pounding, pounding and more pounding. She tells you she enjoys watching porn and you sit there judging her. Men like this, this way please <—— (To the left)

3) Paranoia: A man who is paranoid, not sure of himself, needs constant validation and is constantly questioning about phone calls/emails/bbm’s/tweets is a turn off. No woman, well let me speak for myself; I don’t want a man who questions me about every dude that talks to me or even tweets at me.

4) No passion/interest: He’s  not passionate about anything, even if it’s vampire diaries. No hobbies, nothing makes his blood pump or his heart race even if its country music, he takes no active interest in anything like ANYTHING at all. I don’t want that kind of man.

5) Uncharismatic: this is lack of a sense of style, inability to hold an interesting conversation and bad carriage all rolled into one. It’s what basic people call ‘lacking swag’ ( I’m upset I had to use this word ). If you lack this then its goodnight and God bless.

Ola (@OlaHolloway)

1. Don’t be a child.

I don’t see why I should be in a relationship with someone that acts like a 12 year old. MAN UP! If you do something wrong, you apologise. Don’t run your mouth and say shit for the sole purpose of hurting my feelings. I don’t want a manipulative bastard. This is real life we are not in a movie you don’t fuck around with people’s feelings because you are unsure of yours. It’s cruel.  Unless we both knowingly enter the ‘relationship’ for the sole purpose of fucking, I will be treated with the respect and reverence that you would expect your dad to give to your mom. For all you know, I could be the future mother of your child. If you cannot treat people with love and respect, if you cannot admit to being wrong, if you cannot be completely honest with me, please find someone who will endure your half-arsed attitude. I wish you the very best. .

I also do not want a guy with no ambitions. You need to have a passion for something. You need to want to BE something. Don’t sit on your arse and be an arrogant bastard. You will be happy for me when I reach greater heights.

2. Body Odour

Please don’t have it. Don’t bathe in perfume either. I have asthma. Thanks.

3. Passive

Obviously I like to believe I wear the pants in the relationship, but I do not want my boyfriend to be a passive bitch. Why on earth would you agree with everything I say? Tell me to shut up if you have to. Give me some ‘Love the way you lie’ type loving. There is no need to act like a fairy. If I wanted Edward Cullen, I would go and remake twilight or find a fairy or something. Be a man. This doesn’t mean you should beat me up. Be warned, I grew up with 5 boys, I have 3 dogs, one father who is not afraid to use his guns and I am a brown belt. Just saying.

4. Illiterates

I have a short temper. I can’t stand stupid people. What are we going to talk about if you have the IQ of a spoon? Intellectuals are sexy. Intellectuals with facial hair are sex.

5. Brap people

No thanks.

Tiwa (@Tidiji)

1) He has to be supportive: If I say I want to do something, and everyone else is “making jest” of me, I expect him to be the one to stick by me no matter what. Yes oh, he must do “ride or die” for me. He must be my personal voltron, as they say on Twitter. I can’t be second guessing his loyalty, because I’ll feel insecure about out relationship. That will not do.

2) He has to be emotionally mature: Let’s face it. There are some grown men out there that keep acting like kids. If you are going to stomp your feet and pout like a child, I will treat you like a child. If you don’t know when to step up and act like a man, take charge of situations and look at things from a mature point of view, it will never work.

3) He has to be a family man: I will not even look twice at a man who does not respect his parents, or thinks kids are “stupid”. Like I said, his long-term goals have to align with mine, and I’m huge on family values.

4) He can’t be an NFA: I’m a very ambitious person, and I tend to surround myself with equally motivated people. Go ahead and rap in your spare time, but you better be doing something sensible and lucrative with your life (school, work etc).

5) He has to be God-fearing: if we’re going to do this long-term, his ultimate goal has to align with mine, which is, to become a better Christian everyday and in the bigger picture, make Heaven. Making my life centered around God is a hard journey on its own, so there’s no way I can be dragging a spiritual infant along with me. Working on myself alone is already difficult enough.
(All other physical and materialistic specifications will fall under numbers 6, 7, 8 , 9 and 10. But I was only asked to give five, and these are the 5 things most important to me.)

@OtasE

1) Size Matters: I know everyone’s mind is going straight to the size of his penis but that is not what I mean. Well…that is not ONLY what I mean. I’m 5’10, so I require a guy who is at least 6 ft. I don’t know why but I can’t ever date a guy who is shorter than me. Ever. It pains me greatly when I see a 5’2 chick dating a 6’1 guy meanwhile 5’9s are asking me out. It makes me want to cry.

2. Openness: I am not the most conventional girl so I require a guy who is open to making our own rules in a relationship. A guy who isn’t so swayed by what society tells us our roles should be. A guy who can choose happiness over convention. Whether it be me wanting a hyphenated last name or no last name at all or who should cook vs. who should clean etc.

3. Perseverance: I am emotionally detached. It takes a certain level of patience and perseverance to get me intimate. I don’t pick up my phone, sometimes it takes me days to call back; I haven’t listened to my voice mail in a month. Things like this irk people and there have been few people who’ve been able to put up with it. But once I get to the level where I open up to you, you’ll beg me to stop calling you every day.

4) Acceptance: I come with baggage. Loads of it. You have to understand that. Also be accepting of the fact that sometimes me and you will turn back and admire the same girl because I’m bisexual. With bisexuality comes gay friends both the flaming homosexuals and the macho homosexuals. If I ever hear you say ‘ew’ regarding my friends, it’s done. You don’t have to like gayness but you don’t get to disrespect or judge my friends. Also I’m not Christian or Muslim, I don’t like holidays, I don’t fucking like hugs, I’m not a family person but the sex is really good and I can cook even though I hate cooking…so yeah perks.

5) Personality: Big big deal. I bore easily. I have the attention span of a 10-year-old in an amusement park. Keep me entertained, make me laugh. Be able to keep up with me. Intellectually and what not. Be adventurous, trust me you’ll need it. Have drive. People have asked me “Would you date a guy without a car?” And I always say, it’s not the car that matters, it’s his car getting/keeping potential.

I would be lying if I said looks didn’t matter. They do. Hell. Chiseled face and leanness. That is all I ask. I don’t ask that you be buff. I don’t ask for bulging muscles (even though I don’t mind). In fact the only bulge I ask for is in your pants.

There you go! I sincerely apologize for the length but you guys will be alright

leave a comment telling me what you don’t want in a man and if you agree with any of the points these lovely ladies made.

You can follow them on twitter. I absolutely love them on my timeline and I’m sure you would too.

Coffee out!