Usain Bolt

31 May 2011 24 Comments

by creamandcoffee in Cream Tags: #chase #Cream

*whispers* I’m sorry but I’m back now.

So I’m on my bed, Maxi dress hiked up to my thighs, shiny face, my Afro is doing something weird on my head and I don’t even want to question why it’s misbehaving. I’m relaxed, listening to ‘From Head to Toe’ by Miles Hodges (if you love spoken word you will love this poem. I bet my life on it) The poet is describing a girl he likes or is in love with. He does it with such perfection I almost wish he was talking about me but sadly he isn’t

I promise this post is not about Poetry, I don’t want to bore you guys. It’s about Usain Bolt. well it’s more about what Usain Bolt does. He runs. he runs really fast, that is what he is known for.

I have been an Usain Bolt since I can remember. But I don’t run like him, I just chase. I run like there’s something in front of me that I have to catch. I chase like my life depends on it. Like without that chase, I will be less than nothing.

At first I loved to chase…. wait let me tell you what I used to chase.  I used to chase… boys. Not ordinary boys…

Boys that made me realize that it’s possible to be alone and crave love so desperately, it knocks the wind out of your breath.

Boys that drew me and then erased themselves right out of the picture without warning.

Boys that wore false hope around their necks like cologne or pendants or veins. They wore false hope like their second skin and I would try to penetrate through this second skin just to understand who they really were but they never let me. Hence the reason I started running. I started chasing them because I needed answers and also because they were not willing to chase me. Ouch.

That part hurts the most I think. I sound a little poetic. Can I be gritty? no? that’s Coffee’s job.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered to put my running shoes on… then I remembered that these boys held my hands and walked me to the starting line with smiles on their faces and promises dripping from their tongues like morning dew and I am a morning person so I believed them. 20 years old and still believing.

Sometimes I compare promises to water, people say water has no taste…. so if water is tasteless… wait for it… 20 years old and still believing words that taste like water (I hope I did not confuse you. My job is to make you think)

I stopped chasing though. not because I got tired of it, no I loved the adrenaline rush to be honest but I stopped chasing because some body decided to chase me. He decided to run after me and you know what’s so crazy? I didn’t run away from him. I just stood there and let his words settle onto every part of my body. I would say I am back to square one but there was really no square to begin with, just a shit load of circles. or cycles.

Sometimes I compare being a former chaser to being a recovering crack addict. Yes I have been to rehab. Yes I have been to therapy. Yes I promised myself that I was done chasing ever since he came along but… but much like a recovering crack addict I still crave the high.

I still the high that comes with chasing boys that may or may not want me with their water flavored promises.

Yes I am very much like a recovering crack addict.